Creative Writing

Hotel Jock: Chapter 1

A man is dangling from the balcony two storeys from the ground. What’s holding him hostage are his own white briefs, which have him caught in a deadly hanging wedgie. His body twirls ever so slowly in mid-air, like a rotisserie chicken at a kebab shop. As the woman looks closely, she realises the gurgling sounds are coming from him, as his underwear has come around his front and is choking him at the neck. Within just seconds of her seeing him, the sound abruptly stops and his body collapses limply. The woman screams again, but this time it’s masked by the sound of his dead body hitting the ground.

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Hotel Jock: Chapter 2

In an instant, the two have lifted Danny up off the chair and are dragging him to the bathroom. Without removing his clothes, they set him down in front of the toilet that still contains Ricky’s unflushed piss, and shove his face into the bowl. With a flush, the piss water swirls around his head, rinsing out his nose before he has a chance to protest. He tries to sit up but one of them places their hand on his neck and shoves him down harder. He tries to scream, but all that comes out are the soggy corn flakes he was chewing on, combining with the piss and toilet water to make some really wretched morning smoothie.

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Hotel Jock: Chapter 3

Guy enters and immediately finds himself wishing for hundreds of dollars worth of room damages. What he finds instead is a deserted room that is not only trashed, but is also accompanied with the body of a lifeless Claudio hanging by his tighty whities from a pull-up bar in one of the bedroom door frames. His eyes have been taped over with duct tape, he’s been gagged with a pair of dirty white socks and his hands have been restrained behind him with god knows what. He faintly swings back and forth and it’s not until Guy looks down that he sees a huge wet patch on the crotch of his khakis.

“Jesus fucking christ,” Guy mutters under his breath.

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Hotel Jock: Chapter 4

Bodies on bodies. Mouths on mouths. Bodies in mouths. Bodies in bodies.

Thrust. Spit. Fuck. Spank. Tug. Pull. Bite.

Suck. Stroke. Shove. Smack. Squeeze. Swallow. Fucking and fucking and fucking. Fucking until everything is fucked.

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Hotel Jock: Chapter 5

The loud thwoop rings out and Josh is instantly on the floor howling in pain. Danny’s arm is flung out, outstretched from the bed covers, but he’s only now catching up to his reflexes. He yanks his arm back, but the nutshot has long been enacted. To his surprise, Josh is cheerful when he stands up a minute or so later. “You fucking beast! Nice nut tap bro. You really got me there.”

Danny blinks.

“I swear each day you’re becoming more one of us,” Josh chuckles. He tousles Danny’s hair approvingly before heading for the door.

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Total Chapters: 5/5
Artist: @skyhighwaistband on Instagram

Wedgie Warlock: Chapter 1

It’s the last week of school for the year and everything’s beginning to dwindle down. Exams are over, classes are wrapping up and the year 12s are getting ready to graduate. One of these seniors is Cody Thompson, a guy who’s spent the majority of high school at the bottom of the social ladder.

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Wedgie Warlock: Chapter 2

Whenever he’s reminded of wedgies, the only thing he can do to relinquish the combination of arousal and guilt is to pleasure the fuck outta himself for a couple hours. All wedgied out, he then shoves the thought back into a small locked trunk in his brain, not to be opened for a couple weeks, a month maybe if he’s lucky, until he can no longer keep the thought at bay. Then rinse and repeat, the wedgie shame cycle continues.

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Wedgie Warlock: Chapter 3

Cody makes to walk up and give Anton a hug, but reconsiders as the initial relief of seeing his former friend wears off. It’s quickly replaced with an uncomfortable dread as his brain begins to process what Anton being here now means: that he was the one who gave Jono and the twins that wedgie, and that he purposefully led Cody on a chase to the oval.

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Wedgie Warlock: Chapter 4

The trip home isn’t too bad. The faint piss stains around his crotch draw a few perturbed stares on the train, but he’s too numb to notice. He goes to get his phone to call Timmy, but finding his pockets empty, remembers dropping it in the toilet the night before. Sigh. Truthfully though, he doesn’t even know what he’d tell his best friend. That he just got the worst wedgie of his life but that, in some weird twisted way, he kind of deserved it?

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Wedgie Warlock: Chapter 5

With the flick of his wrists, Anton shoots out dozens of metallic fibre slings from his pockets, each one linking themselves in and under a player’s groin and lifting them up off the ground, their screams getting louder and more dire. Among the players is Darren, currently howling with pain as he’s levitated via the most intense wedgie of his life. Gasps emit throughout the stadium, with some spectators getting out their phones to record the debacle but most not knowing what to do. Sat next to his puzzled cousin in his apartment several blocks away from the stadium, a horrified Timmy softly whispers “oh no” as he watches this all unfold live on TV.

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Total Chapters: 5/5
Artist: @harryharold40 on Instagram


Enjoy poetry? Take a look at the wedgie and kink -related poems written by yours truly.

The Nervous Exhale

Wedgies are the nervous exhale.The quivers of a body that knows its fate.The in-betweens of each breath, of each heartbeat,the inevitable purgatory I await. I can almost feel what it’s like,the intoxicating seduction of my leg holes slithering up my butt cheeks.But no preparation can provide me a cure for the ecstatic euphoriaerupting to the…

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